“Keep the fire lit in your marriage and your life will be filled with warmth.” ~ Fawn Weaver

I keep smiling as I write this, because my husband, Steven, and I just had one of those “curl your toes” kind of overnight dates where we both felt like new lovers again.

After saying goodbye to Kiddo and the dogs, we jumped on our Harley Davidson (HD) and headed to Missoula, Montana for a Sheryl Crow concert. I was elated!

This was our first out-of-town date without Kiddo, and I felt so much joy that as soon as the HD picked up some speed, I outstretched my arms to sing praises for our newfound freedom. Steve smiled at me through the side mirror then gunned the gas and we headed out toward the freeway.

It felt so good to finally have some time to ourselves. This was our FIRST real date since we began fostering 18 months ago. Though we had attempted to leave for a short night out last winter, a brutal blizzard stopped us in our tracks quite literally.

Now it was just us and the wide open road. Tension began melting from our bodies with every mile and by the time we checked into our AirBnB, we had worked up quite an appetite.

After taking an Uber downtown, we enjoyed some BBQ at a local hangout then checked out a fun brewery where we toasted to our marriage then took a few selfies and snuck in some kisses in-between.

A text from the sitter let us know Kiddo was requesting we virtually tuck ‘them’ in, so Steve hopped on the phone as I downloaded some photos to social media.

Looking up, I see the biggest smile. My handsome guy was holding out a bowl of Montana made ice-cream and offering a bite to me. Such a romantic and sweet treat!

We then caught a ride to the concert so we could indulge in a few more adult beverages responsibly.

The concert was amazing. Way more than I could have ever dreamed. Not only because we got to experience the great music from the front row, but because Steve and I gelled the entire time.

Everything was in perfect flow.

By the time we crawled into bed, it was after 1 a.m. and we made love most of the morning until we glowed.

I would be lying if I told you I was missing my child at this point. The truth is, I was thoroughly enjoying my husband, and we were stretching out every minute we could taking our time to return back home. From a nice breakfast to a walk along the lake to sampling fresh picked cherries and enjoying the warm summer’s day, we were taking full advantage of this well-deserved date.

Because we had parked our car near the sitters which is at the the end of town, Steve rolled the HD next to it as we pulled in.

After hopping off the bike, I gave my husband a long kiss goodbye. Even though we knew we would be seeing each other in just a short while, these were our last few moments of sacredness.

“I have to return now to my wife and kids,” Steve lovingly teased. His tone of dread was so funny that I laughed

I kissed him again then played along. “I’ll really miss you my sexy lover,” I said.

As I drove to the sitters I felt so giddy.

And then . . . reality hit.

Though Kiddo might have also needed some time away, “them” was more likely upset that we had left because when I arrived Kiddo was acting as though I wasn’t even there then continued to ignore me when it was time to leave.

This I could handle. This I could expect. I was calm enough to be coaxing and kind.

But the moment we got into the car, the really big meltdowns began.

Kiddo began crying, and kicking and screaming and refused to put on the seat belt. I tried to assist and was kicked and slapped. Then the yelling began. “I am jealous! I am jealous!” — Full on screaming in my ears.

When I pulled into the driveway, I was a wreck.
Steve, on the other hand, was still beaming from ear-to-ear.

In no time though, he could see from my face that I had quickly been tossed from a warm, chill-axing beach right into the eye of a hurricane.

I then showered so he could take over.

As the warm water flowed over my body, I could hear Kiddo yelling and Steve doing his best to calm “them” down.

A little later when Steve and I had a few minutes to ourselves, I embraced him around the neck then said, “I can now understand why some people question their marriage. Had you or I really been with someone else this entire time and then returned home to this . . . wow!”

Steve knowingly nodded.

Then later that evening we promised each other we would schedule more date nights from here on out so our pilot lights never go out.




(Note: For confidentiality reasons, “Kiddo” and “them” refers to the child in our foster care at the time of this post.)

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