“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
~ Dr. Wayne Dyer
These past few weeks have contained a lot of emotional release for Kiddo. I recently came back into the house to witness “them” curled up in a ball and sobbing uncontrollably.
I had told Kiddo I had to leave the house for just a minute, but somehow “them” interpreted this as my leaving for good even though I was just running to the end of our driveway.
After some hugs and a talk to clear things up, Kiddo began crying even harder letting me know “them” was still afraid. “Don’t ever leave again, okay?” Kiddo said, somewhat bossy but mainly insistent.
I gently pulled Kiddo up so I could look deeply into “them’s” eyes. “You are safe,” I said. “I know you were feeling scared because I left you for a moment, and I’m sorry about the confusion, but I was gone for just a minute and then came back.”
We cuddled a little more as I began formulating a question to help shift “them’s” perception.
Knowing “them’s” history plus having worked with many private clients whose inner child had become wounded at some point from the belief of abandonment, I lovingly asked, “So when you think about your last family, does it bring up memories of being left all alone?”
Kiddo sobbed even harder. After a little love and some coaxing, “them” shared how past parents had left and never came back.
“So you believe they left you?” I asked
Head deeply buried in my armpit, Kiddo nodded.
“Are you sure about that?” I asked, using the collar of my shirt to wipe “them’s” tears and runny nose. (yes I did)
Kiddo’s eyes met mine with a look of confusion.
“So you believe your last family left you?” I asked again.
Before Kiddo could answer I continued, “Or is it possible that YOU left them?”
Kiddo’s face shifted from confusion to contemplation.
“Just maybe,” I ventured to say, “They didn’t leave you, but YOU left them? Just maybe you knew deep in your heart that you were not safe and so you prayed hard to God who heard you and then an angel came to get you and helped you take some of your clothes and toys, and you both drove far far away.”
I could tell by Kiddo’s face this new perception was a healing one, and, so I instructed “them” to stand up in front of our full length bedroom mirror and repeat the following after me . . .
“I left you (X) because I wasn’t protected. Though I miss you lots, it was MY idea to leave. God heard my prayers and sent an angel to help pack up my things so we could drive far, far away. I left you because I deserve to be safe. I deserve healthy love. Thank you God for answering my prayers.”
Kiddo then stared in the mirror for quite some time before running back into my arms to declare, “Mama, I just said goodbye to (X). It was my idea to leave.”
Yes! Thank you God for helping Kiddo finally see that this was all “meant” to be.
Time to go wash the shirt 😉
(Note: For confidentiality reasons, “Kiddo” and “them” refers to the child in our foster care at the time of this post.)